OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
