i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
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Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
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I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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