Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
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I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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