Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize