lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day