So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha