This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize
