ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
