Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
