Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize