Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
