I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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