Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
