Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
did you just send me my own nude
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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