She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
