seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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