The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i dont even know how to be here
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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