Yo dont text me then not text me
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
