Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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