Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
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Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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