you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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