I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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