That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
