I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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