I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
