So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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