I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
