Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize