so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
