i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
