It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So vagazzling was a success
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize