Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
