i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
this hospital has no fireball
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
