my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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