Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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