You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize