bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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