the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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