I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
