At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
