Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
