If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
