Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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