Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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