Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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