I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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