These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
