just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
