i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
