Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
