The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
