Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
