I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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