Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
