I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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