he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize