nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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