im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
