Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My vagina is very pro this idea
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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