it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
