Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
