Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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