I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
