What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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