Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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