matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
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He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
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Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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