I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
