But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Randomize
