well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
