I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
