This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
