i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
