FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
