Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
